do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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