do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
