how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
