Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
