just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
