South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
