Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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