I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Even my vagina gasped.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
