She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
