the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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