we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So squirting runs in the family.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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