Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
