11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
