Kiss
Puke
You smell like stripper and shame
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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