week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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