I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
