shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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