is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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