dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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