That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
