I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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