I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
