Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
