when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize