Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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