He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
