just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
