I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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