This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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