I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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