I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
