I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
