That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
