I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
