So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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