i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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