I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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