He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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