the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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