If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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