So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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