Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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