you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
