he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
