we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
