Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is wine microwaveable?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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