There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
