hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Alive.
So much puke
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
