I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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