he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The uberlube is also flammable
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
