Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
