I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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