I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
