her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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