Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize