She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
