My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
