Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
