the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
