thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
