i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
