I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
