I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
