just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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