Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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